Living with Pride -- Coaching and Resources for People Who Identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgendered

Coach Peg at the 2007 Michigan Pride Rally talking about
building alliances between the LGBT and Disability Communities
(ramp to the side of capitol porch was secured by a group effort
led by Nancy English of Michigan Equality)

LGBT people from all over Michigan gather for this annual event

Building Alliances Between the LGBT and Disability Communities - A Challenge to Our Rainbow Family at Michigan Pride 2007

By Peg Ball

Wow! What a sight you are! What a beautiful, diverse family we are indeed!

Though part of this family, people with disabilities have only begun to be included in Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgendered community life. I believe this is due, in part, to the struggles both queer people and people with disabilities experience as we work for acceptance in the larger community. Because of abilities or orientation different from the majority of society, both groups experience:

• Harassment
• Discrimination
• Marginalization
• Preconceived negative notions
• Ignorance expressed through inappropriate communication
• Difficulty communicating about our own issues
• Struggle with self acceptance

Both groups have ignored each other in trying to achieve acceptance. People with disabilities have been guilty of horrendous homophobia as we have struggled to simply be seen by the world as sexual beings. LGBT people have demonstrated ableism, excluding people with disabilities from our midst through choosing inaccessible gathering places or exhibiting unaccepting attitudes. By wanting to be seen by the world as the beautiful rainbow people we are, we have sometimes rejected those whom much of the world considers less than beautiful - people with disabilities.

These offenses on both sides have slowed the progress of positive social change, and have perhaps been most hurtful to those of us who live in both worlds - queer and disabled. We long to participate in our GLBT community activities, perhaps even finding true love therein. We long to be accepted, not misunderstood, feared, or shunned by our disability community.

We in the queer community like to indicate how big a percentage of the population we are. Ten percent is what we hear and say so often. "Ten Percent Revue", "One Teenager in Ten: Testimony by Gay and Lesbian Youth", "One Teacher in 10: Gay and Lesbian Educators Tell Their Stories". . . People with disabilities represent at least 10% of the population. Recent indicators say more accurate estimates are between 12 and 20%, depending on your definition of disability. Remember, this means that up to one-fifth of Bi, Trans, Gay, and Lesbian people experience some kind of disability, either an obvious one or a hidden one. In the words of Ed Roberts, granddaddy of the disability rights movement, "We are an equal opportunity minority. Anyone can join us, at any time."

So what can we do to become more supporting, respectful, and inclusive of one another? You are taking action on that this very moment by listening to me, a bisexual disabled woman, and thinking about what I'm saying. We need to listen to each other with open minds and open hearts. As a Trans/Gay/Bi/Lesbian community, we must take responsibility to be accessible and welcoming to our brothers, sisters and allies who have disabilities. Those of us with disabilities - queer and straight - must take responsibility to eradicate our own homophobia, and to be inclusive and welcoming to people of all sexual orientations and gender identities and expressions.

As a Life Coach I work with people who are seeking to reach their potential. Many times social and physical barriers block their paths to optimal success. We work together to nonetheless find roads to achieve that success. As our world becomes more accepting, accessible, and inclusive, these energies can be freed up to truly develop individual potential.

The LGBT and disability communities share some common advocacy agendas:

We seek access to legal recognition of our relationships
For TBLG people this means partner benefits and the freedom to marry. For people with disabilities this means freedom to marry without the penalty of losing services and supports vital to sustaining a full, independent and productive life.

We urgently need access to appropriate healthcare and support services in our communities
We have often received less than quality care because of our sexual orientation. Our partners have been shut out from our healthcare process and information, and we have been feared as infectious. Because of disability, we have at times been deemed unable to make our own healthcare decisions, we have been assisted to die rather than receive adequate support services and treatment for suicidal thoughts and depression, and our development has been surgically stunted for the convenience of others. We have been isolated from our communities by forced institutionalization in the name of healthcare.

We seek equal opportunity in employment
Discrimination in employment is a common experience of queer people and of people with disabilities. Sexual orientation or disability must not be factors used to exclude us from jobs for which we are qualified.

How do we move forward?

• We must improve and increase communication with ourselves and each other. We need to invite each other to the planning table, include each other in our advocacy, our work, and our play. Most importantly, we must listen to each other.
• We must keep our minds and hearts open to the possibilities for a better future for ourselves and our children.
• We must be patient with each other as we grapple with politically correct language, as we reach beyond our comfort zones, and as we work together to build an inclusive world.
• We must appreciate the value and uniqueness of each person. We each have gifts and talents to share for the benefit of all. Gay/Trans/Bi/Lesbian people are known for our creativity. People with disabilities tend, of necessity, to be good problem-solvers. We must combine our talents in the creation of a more just world for us all. United, we just might be unstoppable!

"What a beautiful, diverse family we are indeed!"

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Able Amazons
Coaching Group for Lesbians and Bi Women with Disabilities

• Do you find yourself between two worlds that at times seem mutually exclusive?
• Do you experience disability-related barriers to participating in LGBT events?
• Have you had difficulty being Out in the Disability Community?
• Do you want to strengthen your relationships in the LGBT and/or Disability Communities?
• Are you seeking ways to express the strong woman-the Amazon-within you?

Join us to explore these topics and more!

This weekly group is convened by teleconference, so you can participate from anywhere- no transportation issues, no access challenges-just good conversation, tips, support and encouragement in creating the life you desire.

Second Monday of each month - 8:00-9:00pm EST
Click here to register now!